Whether we have just come out of a relationship or we’re single, we tend to crave company. Someone who says nice things; Someone who gives us attention when we feel lonely. Someone who makes us feel like the happiest person in the world. But the question that lies in front of us is:
Should we be dating right now?
Or in other words,
Are we ready to be dating right now?
Just because we want someone or believe we need someone, doesn’t always mean we are ready to commit. And I’m not talking about being faithful, but about having emotional strength.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Are you going through tough times?
This question can be taken different ways. Have you just gotten out of a relationship? Did you lose your job? Are you dealing with a death in the family? Those are just a few examples, but they all root from feeling pain. The first thing you might want after going through something emotionally gut wrenching is comfort from someone else. It’s like having your favorite blanket as a child and hiding under it when you didn’t want to deal with life for a minute. It’s one thing to be dating someone when you’re going through a tragic event who can be there for you, but to emotionally cling to someone you barely know you that you’ve had a romantic past with isn’t going to satisfy you long term.
Do you feel grounded in your shoes?
This question might sound funny, but in lamen’s terms, it’s asking yourself if you feel secure in life. You don’t have to make millions of dollars to be ready to date someone, but it would be nice to at least be able to support yourself. Maybe in middle school & high school, mom or dad would give you money to go to the movies with someone you had a crush on, but when you’re an adult, you have bills to pay and more responsibilities. It wouldn’t be fair to date someone and not make them feel special once in a while. Make sure you’re happy with where you stand in life.
*To get personal for a second, I’ve been doing better with the first question and have become stronger through tough experiences, but I could work on the soles of my shoes with the next question. I have a solid job right now and I have my own place because well…I didn’t really have a choice, but it’s a nice feeling! I don’t have a car which is what I need to work on; it’s difficult to afford a car right now, but I’m battling this anxiety with getting behind the wheel. This is one of my goals to accomplish and I hope you guys are facing and trying to overcome challenges yourselves.
Do you have time?
It’s easy to say “yes” to someone who wants to enter a relationship with you, but as life goes on, it might get difficult at times when it comes to making time for someone you’re with. You could get a promotion at work and have to work more hours each week. You could be pursing interests or dreams that you’ve been wanting to take a stab at. At the end of the day, it’s important to not shove someone into the distance when life gets hectic. Acknowledge change and communicate with said person.
Do you love yourself?
As many of you know, this is crucial. It’s important to be able to love someone else, but if you don’t love yourself, it’s going to end up affecting the relationship. You might feel jealous if your partner is talking to someone else. You might not trust your partner even if they are telling you the truth. You might flip out on them when they didn’t do anything wrong. If loving yourself is an issue for you, you need to make time to heal before you date. You are an amazing individual that shouldn’t doubt your worth.
It took me 2-3 years after my last relationship to find my soul again, to love myself again, and to realize that life will knock you down, but that it’s your choice on whether to get back up or not. It took me longer to stand back up than I would have wanted, but I am standing, I am strong, and I am determined to not give up.
I hope everyone has a great night and an even better tomorrow! 🙂
~You can praise me, you can challenge me, you can agree with me, you can disagree with me, as long as you respect me.~
© 2017 Frank Anthony. All rights reserved.